THE AUTHOR OF CONFUSION

     The ex-gatekeeper is still hanging out on Sundays. I surely hope his many siblings have left town; their mama was buried 2 weeks ago! So I don't know why he needs a place to be, but he's sweet, and Doug and I have no complaints.
     Lanyard Guy came in today to take the dinner shift. Doug had to leave by 1:00. For a long while, there were 4 of us in that little kitchen. Lunch was Friday's donated corned beef hash, scrambled eggs and fruit cocktail. Just about everybody was there. Fancy Lady had a bowl of eggs, Nurse with dog asked for a sack lunch to give to a hungry man out front ("I don't think he can even navigate to the back door," she explained). I gave it to her, but who knows what was really going down?
     On occasion, Doug would check the front door. ALL of the hobos who've been hanging out front and back have been shooed away.
     LAST NIGHT, Richard the night-shift gatekeeper called in sick! There was no one to open the kitchen and give out the dinner plates (or anything else)! A phone call brought Major God himself to the shelter, and he sat in the front "cage" and monitored the gate until midnight when Shirt Man came to relieve him, after he found a baby sitter. He took over gate duty until 8:00 a.m. when Doug arrived, and for breakfast, he gave folks sack lunches, not knowing that we have breakfast sacks. He's an office worker and knows nothing about the kitchen.
     Apparently, I've lied again. We do have a security guard, but I failed to ask how long he's been with us. It's probably not long because Doug nearly fell over describing how the poor man cannot SEE anything on one side and is constantly turning to find the voice speaking to him. Besides, he only works weekdays. I'm thinking he's new. Secure? Who knows?
     I've become more and more aware of our lack of funds. Just today I realized that I haven't seen a #10 can of anything in several months. Doug orders them, but someone higher up marks them off. We get boxes of 10-oz. cans that are government issue—they say.
     For dinner, we plated meat patties with gravy, mashed potatoes, fried okra and a roll.
     Today's chuckle: A young man came to the counter for a lunch plate when Doug was taking away empty food pans and bringing new. It confused me for a second, and I admitted to the fellow, "I'm a bit confused, but we'll get there."
     "You know who the author of confusion is," he asked.
     Expecting an educated reply, I said, "No, who?"
     "The devil."