LOOKING BACK

      Four years ago this Easter was the last time I set foot in an organized church—and truthfully, that one was pretty disorganized. I told myself that if leaving to work in a shelter on Sundays was the right thing to do, then I would know instinctively by my feelings. Because my feelings have not changed in 4 years, I'm calling it a win.

       All of the residents were upbeat today—just because it's Easter (even using the term without a deeper meaning). They are so hungry for change, for diversion, that simply being able to say, "Happy Easter!" elevates their mood.

       I took 6 dozen boiled and dyed eggs, some little foil-wrapped chocolate eggs, and 4-inch kabobs of cheeses & olives. We added those to Doug's delicious juicy hamburgers and baked beans. We provided heaps of sliced tomatoes and slices of cheese. We now have six or eight pre-release who won't eat beef or pork, so Doug made chicken & fish patties for their buns. Everybody was camping happy.

       The young woman from last week was there, and she is very much a can-do gal. Again, I was happy to let her help fill plates—we fed about 42.

       Doug said Miss Lillian had dropped by unexpectedly on Friday when he had the back door open. "What's this door doing open?" Lillian demanded.

       "I'm throwing boxes out," Doug replied.

       "Well, I need half a ham," she said. "And you need to feed out those hamburgers tomorrow; they're getting freezer burn."

       He cut her a half ham, and she left with her personal Easter meal. By that time, Doug was ready to walk out—forever. The nuances and the not-so-subtle interactions at that institution are enough to drive a normal person around the bend.

       Doug seems quite satisfied to have had one of his 5 days given to Lillian. Lillian, however (though "retired" and now back "part-time") wields a big stick and a lot of ownership there.

       As for the latest brouhaha with the pre-release, someone was caught smoking downstairs last week. Well… it was discovered that someone had been smoking there. No one, of course, would narc out the offender, so the gatekeeper in charge was pondering putting the whole gang on lock-down, but he didn't want the hassle. That issue has been rolled over to tomorrow when the Bureau of Prisons head shrew can take on the decision making.

       Only one child was at lunch, but I left her sister's goodie bag with their mom, and I left goodies for the 9-yr-old and the baby. They are there—just not at lunch.

       Next week we will have the chicken salad that we'd planned for this week… unless Lillian has another top-dog attack. Doug will be away next Saturday, and today's sweet volunteer allowed as how she could not help Lillian out on Saturday—nor will BOB—nor will I. Stepping into that woman's Gospel-screaming kitchen is more like an opportunity to be undone than saved. We do what we can with what we have; the rest we give up to God.